Thank You for Your Remembrance

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim…

It was a normal day. Fine Wednesday morning. Nothing unusual. It was 10.30 am. I took out the wet clothes outside, to be dried. And that was when I saw IT. My cat was unusually lying under the sun. I thought it was a bit strange because he always rested under the shade. And his body was oddly still. I came nearer to have a closer look.

His eyes were wide open and strangely rolled sideways. There was no glow in his eyes. Just hollowness. Empty. Void. The body looked rigid and bereft. There were smear of feces at his feet and it was an odd colour. I stood over him long enough to realize I was sweating from the heat of the Sun. It took me like, forever to internalize the fact that my cat had just died. No wonder I heard him making loud noise this morning while I was watching Human Stories on tv.  I thought he was fighting with Kucing Stokin as always. But no, he was in pain. And I ignored him. T_T

Two of my other cats came near me and looked at me. One of them went over to sniff the dead cat. A gush of sadness and anguish rushed over me. I cried. I’ve got to bury it, I thought. I looked around and found a spade. Started digging. And once in a while glancing at the dead cat. The other two cats just watched, nonchalant. I’ve got to lift the body into this hole, I thought. So I went to get the gloves. I did not want to do this. I had this crazy idea that the cat will jump up, suddenly alive and bit my hand. (This is the kind of paranoia you’ll get when you read too much of Stephen King’s absurd novels like the Pet Sematary).

This was the cat I used to scoop up in my arms and pat and love and…now it is dead. I placed him in the hole, and before I bury it, I raised my hands and recited Ayatul Kursi for him. T_T

Nobody likes to be reminded of death. As much as I want to shun away the thought of it, I realized that I HAD to be constantly reminded that death is always near. One second you are alive, and maybe the next you are no more. that's reality. Thank You Allah, for reminding me today. That showed You actually cared for me and You wanted me to learn something. And what i learnt was death is catching up on me as days go by. i feel fear...but that has brought me closer to You. Thank You Allah for your Remembrance. T_T