>_<

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....


often, when things don't turn out the way you wanted it to be, you start asking yourself why. (stare at the wall and blink twice). you knew that you planned it well, all set, and knew it is going to yield out right. when i was in taylors i used to get over-the-top emotional when it comes to exam results. they were usually acceptable, not too bad. but i always thought they were not compatible to my so-called enormous efforts. sometimes i just couldnt accept the fact that my results were slightly lower than some of my classmates. so i would call my parents and complained. and sometimes cried. i know, i was such a drama queen.

tahajjud, sunat prayers, sunat fasting, were only during the exam seasons. i thought if i performed all these additional prayers and ibadah, Allah would be pleased with me and He would give me the exam results i wanted. well, i am very very grateful that Allah was really patient with me back then. i usually get what i wanted, but i did not accept them wholeheartedly. but Allah knows best, He is the best planner and He knows His servants well. underlying the events happening in our lives are lessons for us to decipher and reason.

if i would have gotten what i wanted, i don't know where do i stand in His eyes...Ya Allah, forgive me Ya Allah..i was such an ungrateful piece of rot...

But verily thy Lord is full of grace to mankind: Yet most of them are ungrateful (27:73)

last night i checked out my exam results, which determined whether i could get in officially into med school and Alhamdulillah, i passed. this means i am returning to auckland next year. the results were not that great, but the MAIN POINT is, i got through. what i got was what He wills. i learnt to accept, because acceptance shows gratitude. and if i really mean it when i said, " i'm doing the exam because of Allah," i would not be whining like how i used to. i guess i should stop looking at the value of the results as what is stated on the result sheet. i should stop comparing my results with others. i should stop asking myself foolish questions. what i should do is start viewing my results as a sign of love from Him. i should start believing in Him to guide my life. i should start improvising myself in terms of my relationship with Allah.

So put thy trust in Allah. for thou art on (the path of) manifest Truth. (27:79)

Wallahu a'alam. =)

(congrats to aliaa,aida, aan and afiq too. you guys rock. heh)

Ittaqullah

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Update:

i have been abandoning this blog for quite some time. and that doesnt give a good feeling. well, i was busy with some stuff..and i always had had something to write about but the timing is always not right. i am finally back in malaysia last saturday after a long and tiring flight. but i'm glad i'm home Alhamdulillahirabbil alamin =) and oh yeah, selamat hari raya aidil adha to everyone =) taqabballahu minna waminkum =)

	On the authority of Abu Dhar Jundub bin Junadah, and Muadh bin Jabal that the messenger of Allah said : "Fear Allah wherever you are, and follow up a bad deed with a good one and it will wipe it out, and behave well towards people." Tirmithi narrated the hadith and said it was fine, and in another version, said true and fine

The first phrase of this hadith is clearly significant although it is such a simple message. 'Fear Allah wherever you are' means (according to Mustafa Abdul Rahman) to remember and fear Him regardless of place and time, in any possible situation. Regardless of whether we are among others or by ourselves. two different places may have different environments (bi'ah). adaptation to different environments may be complicated as distinctive environment has its own societal make-up and norms. as a Muslim who understands, one should not be dissolved into the norms of the defined society (if it doesnt conform to the norms of Islam). this is difficult i know..

O ye that believe! Fear Allah, and believe in His Messenger, and He will bestow on you a double portion of His Mercy: He will provide for you a Light by which ye shall walk (straight in your path), and He will forgive you (your past): for Allah is Oft- Forgiving, Most Merciful. (57:28)

the right thing to do is to have pride in what the Prophet (pbuh) taught us. a wise thing to do is to show others the characteristics and the beauty of Islam, through our personality, clothings, speech and attitude. this is a jihad of the mind. while there are others who havent seen yet what Islam has to offer, WE the ones who 'understands' this religion by heart has the obligation to convey to them what is true.

nobody is without sins. in the following phrase, Rasulullah said 'Follow up a bad deed with a good one and it will wipe it out'. It simply means that our good deed could deplete our past sins.

And establish regular prayers at the two ends of the day and at the approaches of the night: For those things, that are good remove those that are evil: Be that the word of remembrance to those who remember (their Lord): (11:114)

Ibnu Mas'ud once said that praying five times a day could deplete the sins committed in between the prayer times.

Rasulullah also said that we should 'behave well towards other people'. So this part of the hadith is a bit disconnected to the rest of the hadith. The first two parts told us of fearing ALlah and countinuously do good deeds to wipe out the bad ones. what is the connection between the former two with the latter'? this hadith is trying to convey the message that taqwa towards Allah also includes doing good towards others. You see, taqwa, literally speaking, is holistic. implementing taqwa towards Allah also means imparting it into our actions. only ALlah knows if there is taqwa in you, nobody else can know it. while others may not know it, they can actually SEE IT through how you go about your life. and one of them is how you behave toward others.

Wallahu a'alam.

Tough Enough

Exam periods are tough times. Really.

Not because it is the period when the clever is differentiated from the genius.

Or the Acers from the Average.

They are really the time to distinguish between the hopeful and the hopeless.

From Umar ibn Al-Khattab from the Prophet (PBUH) who said:

“If only you relied on Allah a true reliance, He would provide sustenance for you just as He does the birds: They fly out in the morning empty and return in the afternoon with full stomachs.”

(Ahmad, An-Nasaa’I, Ibn Majah, Al-Hakim and At-Tirmidhi who said: “Hassan sahih”)

It is the time when the people of perseverance are rewarded and quitters quit.

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Whoever says (upon leaving his house):

بسم الله توكلت على الله ولا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله

‘Bismillah, tawakkaltu ‘alallah, wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah

(I begin in the Name of Allah; I trust in Allah; there is no altering of conditions but by the Power of Allah),’ it will be said to him: ‘You are guided, defended and protected.’ The devil will go far away from him.”

(Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi and An-Nasa‘i)

It is the key to tell between the people of iman, patience and tawakkal from the people of doubt, complaint and regret.

So dear brothers and sisters, dont despair and never lose hope..

Tough times never last, but tough people do..

(This is a recent post from http://baitussyifa.wordpress.com/)

Ya Allah...please please...

Let me stay.

Allow me to do this right. I want to do this right.

Ya Allah...

Please listen to my prayers...

Ya Allah...

Please don't forsake me...

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